“we are half hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered us. like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. we are far too easily pleased.”
- c.s. lewis (the weight of glory)
i have had the privilege of having a couple conversations recently with people regarding relationships and invariably… SEX. mind you, these people were single, fully sexually active, and saw no problem with it. what became apparent throughout these conversations is how we’ve “oversexed” sex as a culture.
sexual appetite is the only appetite we’re convinced happiness is found in fulfilling its every random impulse! we have so elevated the sexual appetite above everything else that we’ve forced it to play a role it was never intended to play… filling a need it is not capable of filling. sex was meant as an augment, a blessing, the cherry on top of the sundae for an otherwise fulfilling and intimate relationship. it was never supposed to be the sole source of intimacy in relationship.
appetites devour us and become our bondage if we don’t apply discernment and discretion when indulging. we are a culture of sexually-obese individuals wondering why overindulgence isn’t doing the trick. if you think i’m full of it, talk to a girl or guy who just realized someone used them for their sexuality and ask them how they feel. these feelings lessen as we sear our consciences with frequent random sexual experience, but we forget that it didn’t start that way. it was a painful road that lead to the numbness we currently walk around in as a culture.
imagine sex as an exquisite fine dining experience, you know… one of those life changing meals with all the trimmings. as we force sex into trying to fulfill all our relational needs, it’s as if we take the raw ingredients uncooked and begin eating it. as we remove the context of a loving and committed marriage relationship, we reduce this meal to its separate and very unspectacular parts, resulting in something akin to mutual masturbation.
Jesus didn’t want to hold something away from us; he wanted us to experience sex as an amazing gift… not a curse. we are far too easily pleased. we can easily convince ourselves that mud pies are the pinnacle of human experience… but God invites us into so much more!
How long in a relationship do you go with out nhivag sex?*no more than a wkIs sex that important in a relationship?*absolutely importantWhat if you were nhivag sex with your partner before you became a couple, but after the sex stop, how would you feel?*very hurt to start Do you feel if your partner isn92t nhivag sex with you, they are nhivag sex with someone else?*depends.What does it mean if you partner says no sex because 93we are there yet94?Do you feel lonely in your relationship without sex?*hell yes!What if there is NO intimacy at all, what should you do?*ask why, can it be fixed, if not them leaveIs the problem caused by your partner talking only bout SEX. Everything revolves around SEX?*hey it’s important, so why not talk about it?Could it be because you & / Or your partner don92t feel good about their body?*yesIs it because sex between you and your partner is WACK?*maybe but that would be found out in the first few sessions wouldn’t it?Could it be your sexual education is way lower than your partner or vise versa?lol. Education? how about drive? sometimes ppls drives change and you and your partner aren’t on the same sex page and that’s okay. Choices are either stay and work it out, not work it out and or leave it alone and keep it movingWhat if your partner is not able to rise to the occasion, do you up and leave?*it’s understandable that one of the partners will just not be able to rise up for the occasion, it happens. However, if it’s repeatedly, then somethings up and should be addressed.If your the one holding out, what is it that your partner needs to do to help correct this issue?*sexual blackmail is just wrong no matter which partner is holding out. Why bother being in a relationship if someone tries to control the other one by holding out? Why does the holdee feel they can treat their partner with this type of action? Holding out is the act of power tripping, imho
Very nice site!